Seriously. Either you haven't watched this fantastic mess of a film called 'Across the Universe' or you didn't like it, I'm sure. I don't care. You have no taste. I felt the same way finishing this as I did finishing the equally amazing 'Lust, Caution'. I know why you didn't like it. It's not what you wanted. Why do you cunts always go into movies wanting something? Why can't you just go in and take what you get on its own terms?
Painful analogy: In the Toyota City Museum of Art there is an exhibit which consists entirely of a huge elongated LED display suspended from the ceiling. Probably about 2 feet across and deep, but over 50 tall, it scrolls various messages in different colours. Off the top of my head I can't remember anything specific, but they're interesting and challenging, like the piece itself. You could argue it's simple and lacks artistic merit, or you could take it on its own terms. I suppose I could say 'there is art in this world that many don't appreciate,' but that falls even flatter.
Two reviews follow. I stand behind them completely.
Lust, Caution ☆☆☆☆☆☆
What do you people want? Fucking The Incredible Hulk? Fucking Brokeback Mountain? Those films both suck. I take that back. I haven't seen The Incredible Hulk. It might be okay. Let's look at Brokeback Mountain:
It's beautiful. I'm not going to deny it. Lee takes full advantage (in the first 30 minutes) of the landscape he chose. Well done. Actually, I thought the first hour or so was amazing. I was expecting the rest of the film to blow me away. It did not. It was a fucking soap opera. This is all I have to say.
Lust, Caution. First, the performances are amazing. Until about halfway through I didn't even recognize Tony Leung. Then I was like, 'Holy fucking shit. Taking that role takes amazing balls." By the end of the movie I could see why he would take it.
Every character in the film is so incredibly human, even, or perhaps especially, his. The movie's story is so engaging that I lost all sense of where I was until the final scenes. I'm pretty sure I've never actually experienced being 'glued to the edge of my seat' like I was with this film.
*I'd also like to note that before seeing the movie I hadn't seen the cover for the American uncut release which is so bad I literally laughed out loud when I did:
Across the Universe ☆☆☆☆☆☆
Seriously, what do you want from a movie? Unless you specifically don't want classic songs set to sometimes contrived imagery you can go fuck yourself. It's touching, fun, beautiful to look at, and fun. Anyone who didn't have an urge to sing along isn't allowed to watch movies that try to have fun ever again. In fact, maybe they're not allowed to have fun themselves.
In case you can't see the characters after the movies' titles, they are stars. Six of them each. Out of six.
